It's kind of a rhetorical question, except I'd like some responses at the end.
I took my 3 boys to the public library today. They were to sign out 2 books each. Before the Little One and I even get through the automatic sliding front door, the older boys have begun play-fighting loudly in the lobby area. I instruct them immediately that they must stop or we will have to go home.
After a brief argument about where they might find Pokemon books, they start looking for 2 books each. They quickly find one Star Wars book each. Meanwhile, the Little One is screeching in his stroller while I try to find a couple of board books that might amuse him. The older boys are now insisting I look up Pokemon books in the catalogue. Little One still screeching.
To make a long story short, screeching, loud talking, jumping around and generally unacceptable library behavior continues, which also includes all of us standing around the information desk until finally a frazzled young lady who was not having the best day leads us to where "there might be a Pokemon chapter book." I am now holding the baby, pushing the stroller and searching through racks and racks of unorganized paperbacks for anything that might interest them.
Here is the point to my story. I was completely stressed out. I was sure the other library patrons were appalled at the behavior of my children. And I'm almost positive they were thinking "Why doesn't she take that screeching toddler home!" I became so concerned about what people around me were thinking, I started snapping at the kids, who were really only behaving appropriately for their ages.
So, eventually we left the library with 2 books for each child, and I even found a French board book for baby. My question is: What do you do when your children are disturbing the strangers around you?
As for me, I am going to work on not caring so much about what "people" think, and more about what my children think. And they think its worth a little extra time and patience to find a really good book at the library. :-)
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4 comments:
We've had to deal with "screechy" moments as of late, too...and my first (hindsight) observation is that no one seems to notice the screechy child as much as the mom does. Probably because everyone else in the store/library/wherever knows they don't have to go home with the screechy baby!
I think it's really hard to do what's best for your kid in a stressful situation...and considering you have THREE dudes to wrangle whilst in public, if you all make it out alive, I'd consider that a successful outing. :)
In my opinion, the people who get annoyed at the crying or fussing of small children are the same ones who are annoyed with the world in general. Personally, I don't give a hoot about those people, they make everyone around them miserable.
And for the rest of us, we have compassion & understanding, whether we are parents or not. Almost everyone has been in this situation in one form or another. What are we going to do, stay home for the next 18 years? No. We take a chance and some days it doesn't work out as well as we intended.
Perhaps we can all get some shirts made which say "I'm just the baby-sitter :-)" in BIG BOLD letters. It kind of lets us off the hook in public, so we don't have to sweat it and just do our best.
I have been in these kind of situations before. Yes it is stressful and you do feel like everyone is watching and judging you but I have learned over time and from seeing other people in this situation that most people don't really worry to much about this. I also agree with T on this. What I have done since my children have grown up some is that when I see a parent dealing with this kind of thing is lend a helping hand or a kind word and I think that this helps them out and maybe removes a little bit of the stress they are dealing with. I think it let's people know that you have been there and there is some understanding.
J
Tell your kids (at least the older 2) what kind of behavour is expected of them before you go out or into a library, and explain that is the "rules" ie: quite in the library, or place your going to. If they ask about the younger one well he just doesn't understand yet, but keeping a toy that he only gets when going out might keep him amused. Hope it helps.
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